Friendship – popular topic of late

Posted in Uncategorized on March 5, 2009 by chandi1982

A topic of interest to me on BN started yesterday re friendship – like close friends, trust, dumping friends and so on….so i added the wikipedia definition below.

To me, i think i can open myself up to trust to quickly yet remain reserved at the same time – does that make sense? My friendship circle is small, because i invest in my friends in many ways and expect similar, the rest are acquaintances which you realise when you need some help…that is one thing i hate…someone you help, listen to, give advice, all the important stuff – and when you need it you on your own – i find that alot and maybe its my own fault for not knowing how to open properly, or maybe don’t think i think of them as a real close friend….

Don’t you just get that with some people where you get on as if you’ve known each other forever, or you just get that sense that they good people and you want to have them in your life…but i don’t seem to get it right, i get the sense i am most people’s “acquaintance” for the lack of a better word…thats sad

Friendship is a hi term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other’s company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them.

Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

In a comparison of personal relationships, friendship is considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations. Friendship and association can be thought of as spanning across the same continuum. The study of friendship is included in sociology, anthropology, philosophy, and zoology. Various theories of friendship have been proposed, among which are social psychology, social exchange theory, equity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles. See Interpersonal relationships


Time flies…

Posted in My Pregnancy on March 2, 2009 by chandi1982

it feels like yesterday i found out i was pregnant, now i have basically 2 months left..SHOCK HORROR….time goes too quickly, and when you sit and acknowledge what is left your heart stops for a moment…


You feel excited and expectant, but at the same time you dread the time coming so soon (sounds awful i know) – but because i feel “unprepared”, like i have not read or asked enough, all babies are different so how will she be and will we cope, will our marriage cope and blossom, will we be good parents, will we cope financially if we struggle now, who will we become, or more specifically – who will i become?

Will i just be a mommy, or will i add mommy to my repetiore of who i am?

There is SO much to still get together and do and finish, its overwhelming and basically almost “stops” the progress coz you don’t know what to do next….

Humans not humane

Posted in Uncategorized on March 2, 2009 by chandi1982

For those that watched Carte Blanche last night – thats what my heading relates to….how can people, who are supposed to be the greater species on earth and all that jazz even “think” its ok to treat other living creatures in the way that man does? And his employee Gawie also seems to think its all good….

I was literally sick to the stomach to see how those dogs lived – like the lady from WETNOSE said, nothing living should live in such conditions….moms and pups stuffed under floorboards, infection and disease and dehydration and growths, excrement everywhere, one had a leg amputated after being rescued, others died or were euthanased…

His excuse?????? He has NO MONEY – then if you have no money DON’T DO IT, that is not a good enough bloody reason….would people do more about it if it were children? Do we forget animals are creatures that also feel emotionally and physically – try imagine what they go through – can you? It makes me cry more than ever before…


And people wonder why i prefer animals and their company to people? People like this are the reasons why and i hope, i truly pray the wheel turns and he gets what he deserves – and i won’t mention what i think would be just!

Where our loyalties lie

Posted in Uncategorized on February 10, 2009 by chandi1982

So where do they lie when it comes to the working world…? Do you stick to your working time of say 8 – 16.30, or is it flexi time, or do you work yourself to death daily and cannot understand the meaning of lunch?

I don’t know how many times i have ended up in hospital or collapsed with migraines and taken to emergency…but generally i get in at 6 – 6.30 and used to leave 12 hours later…nowadays i try leave latest 5pm – but tell me…..WHY do we do this? Is it in the hope that they see our commitment to achieving great things and we may be seen one day when promo’s are going around (or you get overlooked for various reasons each time)…do you just like work? Don’t want to go home?

I was once a person who did it to prove my worth – i went above and beyond the call of duty as when i was raised for me an average was never good enough, never….and where has it gotten me? Going nowhere slowly….because despite my output and hours and get punished by getting more work when i clearly cannot cope, especially now whilst pregnant – everything has become SO overwhelming….but i don’t share the extent of it, because i don’t know how – i’ve only been a good listener…

So someone to me this morning reminded me that should something happen, like if i resign or a bus decides i’m a speed bump, i am replacable, and they know it too…so then why put ourselves through this suffering when all that happens is it becomes the “norm” – e.g. i left one day at 4pm someone joked i was working half day 😦

But if retrenchments are due, whats stopping my name from being on the list really? This doesn’t guarantee anything – so check where your loyalties lie – it should be with yourself, your health and your family….its to the point now i believe everyone is discussing getting me to take time off because it appears i am on the verge of a nervous breakdown….


Just my ramble – dunno how to eloquently word myself like novels and things lol

Death – the meaning

Posted in Uncategorized on February 9, 2009 by chandi1982

Death is the permanent termination of the biological functions that define a living organism. It refers both to a particular event and to the continuing condition that results thereby.

The true nature of the latter has for millennia been a central concern of the world’s religious traditions and of philosophical enquiry. Religions, almost without exception, maintain faith in either some kind of afterlife or reincarnation. Contemporary science regards organismic death as final by definition. The effect of physical death on any possible non-physical mind or soul remains an open question.

All animals die in due course from senescence. Intervening phenomena which commonly bring death earlier include malnutrition, predation, disease, accidents resulting in terminal physical injury, or, in extreme circumstances, grave ecosystem disruption. Intentional human activity causing death includes suicide, homicide, and war. Death in the natural world can also occur as an indirect result of human activity: an increasing cause of species depletion in recent times has been destruction of ecological systems as a consequence of the widening spread of industrial technology.

The chief concern of medical science has been to postpone and avert death. Death in this context is now seen as less an event than a process: conditions once considered indicative of death are now reversible. [1] Where in the process a dividing line is drawn between life and death depends on factors beyond the presence or absence of vital signs. In general, clinical death is neither necessary nor sufficient for a determination of legal death. A patient with working heart and lungs determined to be brain dead can be pronounced legally dead without clinical death occurring. Precise medical definition of death, in other words, becomes more problematic, paradoxically, as scientific knowledge and technology advance. Death remains a central mystery of life itself. [2]

i wonder…

No wonder trust is an issue…

Posted in Random on January 22, 2009 by chandi1982

because you will always get ppl who are deceitful and don’t realise how a certain thing is hurtful to you – because we all different whats meaningless to me may be a BIG deal to you…but ppl are selfish, and they lie and do whatever for a little entertainment


I have seen in life the truth always comes out somehow, pity ppl get hurt along the way for no reason – regardless if what it is is big or small, deciet and betrayal and all that hurts me a lot – it reminds me why i struggle to open up to ppl in the real world because you’ve been burnt and sadly there are amazing ppl out there too….but at first trust is an issue…


Pathetic and sad really, we all bitch and moan, we have our fights, but no need to betray or be deceitful out of intention!

Our world is sick…

Posted in Random on January 22, 2009 by chandi1982

really, “mother, daughter raped and killed” in news24….what the hell do these animals do things like this for…and i cannot stop thinking what must have been on the poor girl and mom’s traumatised minds…sometimes, i really hate mankind 😦 😦